Notes from England - Weddingmoon Pt. II

Hiya folks! I thought I'd take the opportunity of a rather quiet and slow morning to update you with pt. II of the 'weddingmoon'...the part you guys didn't get to see...the honeymoon!

Due to the fact that (as of when we booked our honeymoon) flights only went to St. Lucia from London Gatwick, we had to get flights into Gatwick. Unfortunately, no matter how early we got up the Tuesday we were supposed to go, we couldn't book a flight to get us from Manchester to Gatwick on time for our flight. Poo. So that meant we had to go down Monday evening and stay in a hotel at Gatwick. This was another £200+. Loverly.

Anyhoo, we got off without any trouble...except a slight delay. Not a major hassle, except it meant we couldn't take advantage of 'Twilight Check-In' that Virgin offers their customers. Basically we would have been able to drop our luggage off the night before and get checked in...get our boarding cards and everything...and be allowed a bit of a lie-in the morning of. We'd only have to bring our passports and boarding cards to security...no long wait at check-in. Never mind...upon arrival to Gatwick we promptly grabbed a bus to the hotel and got to bed.

Up early...too early...the next morning, and we caught the bus back to the airport...and we actually left (virtually) on time. (As far as any flight leaving on time can be.) The flight was uneventful, and there was little to no turbulence. But if you've never flown with Virgin...they give you these great draw-string bags that have all sorts of goodies in them. There was an eye mask for sleeping (big deal...had these on many flights), a pair of socks in case your feet were cold, a toothbrush and toothpaste, a pen, a note pad, ear plugs, and possibly other bits I'm forgetting. Not only that, but everything was colour-coded. Yellow socks, yellow mask, yellow toothbrush, yellow pen, yellow notepad, yellow ear plugs, all in a yellow bag. The same was available in a light blue. It was just kind of neat, really! The socks were really nice as I had my flip-flops on (in anticipation of the beach) and my feet were freezing. A pair of socks and a blanket later and I was toasty warm!

As with many (but not all) airlines, the wine at dinner was free. And it wasn't bad, actually. (At least the white wasn't bad...can't speak to the red)

Upon arrival at the 'airport' in St. Lucia, we found ourselves on the tarmac. Fortunately, we were near the front of the plane and were off almost immediately. We walked 'round the side of a building and (while I was thinking 'security seems a bit lax') into the passport control area inside. Only a few minutes in passport control and Mrs. Burns and I were through. As soon as we got our luggage, we wandered off to find the Virgin representative.

Apparently, though, we didn't need the Virgin rep. We needed the Sandals reps. We got our info pack from the desk (Waiting under the names Mr. & Mrs. Burns!) and found our way to the air conditioned van that was to take us to the resort. Apparently...and we didn't know this beforehand...the drive was to take 'about an hour', according to the Sandals rep. Now...after a good long flight, nobody is thrilled with the prospect of another hour in a van...but never mind. We'd stick it out. What's one hour, right?

One hour is nothing. But the nearly 2 hours it actually took us was a bit urgh. It was beautiful, don't get me wrong. We drove winding switchback roads up mountains and through the rain forest...past countless banana groves. The downside was going through the 'towns'. You'd pass massive celebrity-style homes which were sat in and amongst some severe poverty. Not 3rd-world country poverty...but sad nonetheless. Everyone looked happy...but it made both Helen and I uncomfortable to know we're off to this posh resort and seeing the state of affairs of the local population.

Then there was the road construction about 20 minutes out from the resort...which took a good 45 minutes to traverse. So in the end, we wondered if paying the $130 per person for a helicopter ride would have been worth it after-all. (More on that)

We finally arrived at Sandals Grande, and were greeted by the most pleasant people. I tried to unload our luggage from the van, but was told "Don't worry...you've had a long journey from Gatwick. We'll take care of that for you, all we need is your name." "Burns." "Thank you! Please head inside to the lobby." Helen and I grabbed our carry-on bags and did so. We went to the front desk and said we were checking in..."Yes. Please have a seat at one of the tables and someone will be right with you." Okay...different, but okay. We did.

Within 30 seconds, a man arrived with a silver tray with little white towels all rolled up piled on it and holding a pair of tongs. "Cold towel?" They were damp and ice cold....they'd been refrigerated or dunked in ice water...and they were heavenly. We wiped down our hands, faces and neck...and I tell you, it's amazing how refreshed that can make you feel after 8 or 9 hours on a plane and another 2 hours on a bus. But that wasn't all. Another minute passed and a man stopped and asked if we would like some champagne. Of course we did, and he soon reappeared with a tray of drinks. The 'special treatment' we'd heard so much about at these all-inclusive resorts had begun, and we scarcely knew how to handle it! But it was wonderful.

So there we are, cold towels and champagne, feeling quite giggly but wonderful, and a lady stops by and walks us through check-in. Signing forms, essentially, then she explains that we are to walk back over to where the bus dropped us off near our luggage, and a bell boy would be by to take us to our rooms. This was done, and within fifteen minutes of arriving at Sandals we were alone in our room and feeling all at once bemused, amused, excited, exhausted and completely happy.

By this time it's gone 5 o'clock in the evening (having landed about 14.30). We sat on the balcony and flipped through our 'welcome booklet', trying to decide if we wanted to go out to eat anywhere that night. In the end we opted to have an early night as we were both exhausted, but we ordered the continental breakfast to be delivered the next morning in time to go on the 10am tour of the resort. We surprised ourselves by being up for 7am...forgetting we were still on British time in our heads, and so had a couple of hours to relax before breakfast arrived. We took a brief walk and just took it easy, really.

The tour went well...showing how to get to everywhere we could possibly want to get to. The five restaurants, the gym, the spa, the 5+ pools and jacuzzi, the gift shoppes, and the many, many bars. (Alcohol is a theme)

We then grabbed our beach towels and scoped out a couple of beautiful sun beds at a prime location at the main pool. This is the pool which contains the swim-up bar. The bar is in the pool. There's little bar stools just under the surface of the water where you can sit and drink all day if you want. It's...it's like nothing I'd ever seen. The large white vertical signs you see around the green portion of the bar contain all the cocktails they make...and there's lots of them! I tried something new every day and there were many I never got around too. I recommend banana colladas though...and a 'totally nutz!'. Very yummy and peanuty. Helen was quite content to sit with a strawberry daiquiri...and she's said numerous times since returning how good they were. I tried a strawberry-banana daiquiri, and it too was very good. There were also 'signature' drinks every day...something they'd make up gallons and gallons of that morning and have ready to go. These usually had fun names like 'Lover's Leap'...a citrusy drink and very good.

The bulk of the remainder of our time in St. Lucia can be summed up with the following: sun, relaxation, alcohol, food. We only spent the first couple of days by the pool, and after we came back from lunch one day to find that some rude people had decided to take the empty beds on either side of us and (after sliding our beds out of the way and away from the pool) placed them in our prime spots. So instead of looking out at the pool & bar as in the above image, we'd be looking at these...'people'. Nope...wouldn't do at all.

The rest of the holiday we spent in our 'tepee' as Helen liked to refer to it. It was a nice little canopy...thing. It was along the beach and overlooked the Caribbean Sea. It was perfect. We sat...we sun-bathed...we read books...we relaxed, which was our main focus. Though, Helen amazes me when it comes to reading. I'm no slouch...but in the entire holiday I read 2 books...Helen read at least 6, one of which I read.

Not to worry though, you cocktail-lovers out there. It was still very near the other pool-side bar (the one you didn't have to swim up to) but was quiet enough that you didn't have to worry about the commotion around the pool. Understand that nothing is more than a 5-minute walk away from anywhere else in the resort. There simply weren't any 'bad' spots, really!

Helen and I went to the Spa during the second week we were there. We got a 'couples' massage, which we upgraded to including the warm river stones. Basically, you both get completely naked and lay on your tummy under a sheet on (separate) massage tables. Then two masseuses come in and go to work. Pull the sheet down to just below your waist and put about six warm river stones down either side of your spine, and one in each of your palms. You immediately start to feel tension being soothed. Then, using massage oils and warm river stones in each of their hands, they in turn massage each of your arms, your neck, shoulders and shoulder blades (which caused Jeremiah to issue an uncontrollable grunt of pleasure when a knot was worked out of my right shoulder blade) back and each of your legs. (They uncover one leg at a time so as to keep your nakedness covered...not to mention it's dark as the room is lit only with lemongrass scented candles) This, combined with the sweet fragrance of the oils and the relaxing ambient music...you couldn't help but nearly fall asleep.

The process was repeated on your front side, and then followed by a complete body sea-salt exfoliation. This got rid of all the dead skin and it really helps to bring out your tan (if you have one) more. You then step into a nine-jet shower and rinse off the sea salts and then get into a jacuzzi tub built for three. Yes, there's only two of you, but there's loads of room in there. The tub is filled with minerals and sea salts and lovely smelling bubbles...and you could easily fall asleep as the jets continue to massage your body. After the jacuzzi, you get back on the table and the ladies return to moisturize your skin.

When all is done...your body feels like jelly...so loose, so relaxed...and it all took place over about 1.5-2hrs. It was incredible. I know a lot of guys out there might be skeptical and think of spas as a 'girls' thing...but this was clearly geared towards both ladies and gentlemen...and I would recommend it to any of my friends with confidence. Josh, Jess...you guys would LOVE this treatment. When you get married...for your honeymoon, can I recommend Sandals Grande?

I went Scuba Diving! It's been a dream of mine for about as long as I can remember...and what better place to start than the Caribbean?? It was absolutely breathtaking. I'm sorry I don't have pics of what I saw to show you. But...just imagine all the beautiful colours and creatures and corals and sponges and everything that you've seen in salt water aquariums and movies like Finding Nemo and such...and multiply it tenfold...and then imagine swimming through that beauty instead of looking at it through aquarium glass. It's nearly indescribably beautiful...but I'll definitely go again. I'm hooked...I want to go again and again. And yes, the first suit I tried on was too small.

Despite the fact that I've only a 33" waist and wear 'medium' shirts, a 'medium' wet suit is not the same thing. Even a 'large' was a bit tight across my shoulders and back...but it sufficed. Yes, I know they're supposed to be tight...but if your instructor comments that it was a bit tight...well I have either unusually broad shoulders for a large...or something. Because the zip was a bit tight. Yes, you can laugh at the picture. That's the intent. The worst part about the picture is you can see how much my swimming suit bunched up under the wet suit!

Finally, the food! The food was absolutely incredible. The quality of food served...at every restaurant...was not cheap! This was the type of food that would end up coming to $30 per plate (minimum) in the States. Things like beef wellington, steaks, chicken, pasta, burgers, fresh seafood of all kinds like mahi mahi, snapper, salmon...I had the most beautiful salt-crusted snapper with a caviar sauce for dinner one night. Easily...the best fish I have ever had. And that's without the desserts or appetizers!

There was an Italian Restaurant...the only one of the 5 we didn't make it to. There was "The Olde London Pub"...which was about as "London Pub" as a TGIF...but the food was amazing. There was The Bayside, which ran along the main pool and served buffets that would make many 'normal restaurants' hang their heads in shame due to the quality. This was not buffet-style food...it was quality food, served buffet style. There was the Barefoot on the Beach restaurant, there was Josephine's, the health-food and creperie restaurant...your choices were plentiful.

In short, Helen and I had a perfect honeymoon for 2 weeks...and we recommend, without hesitation, using both Virgin and Sandals if you're looking to get away somewhere. The worst part of the holiday was leaving. We took the bus back to the airport...but our driver decided that he had to prove something and took a 'shortcut' that, while it did get us to the airport more quickly, his fast (too fast?) driving around the switchbacks made Helen extremely travel-sick. Poor babe. So we decided when we go back, we'll pay out the extra cash for the helicopter transport. It will be faster...and easier on the system!

I hope you've enjoyed this (lengthy) post....please let us have your thoughts! If you've not yet seen the honeymoon pics in full, I encourage you to click here and check them out. Again, we'd love your thoughts and comments!

Questions? Comments? Let me know!

Notes from England - Weddingmoon Pt. I

Hello all,

We saw that on a shirt in St. Lucia - "weddingmoon"...so I decided it was just cheesy enough to use as a post title. You know my odd sense of humor. ;-)

Well it's been nearly three weeks since the wedding, and now that things have settled down a bit...only a bit!...I thought I'd post my thoughts for you all but more importantly, to ask for your feedback on what you all thought as well! Along the way, I'm going to throw in a couple...but only a couple, despite the numerous photos I fell in love with...of my favourite photos. John & Jonny...I've snarfed these off your respective photo pages so I don't send a bunch of traffic your way that you may not want!


It's funny...I wasn't nervous...at all...until that Saturday morning. And even funnier is that I wasn't nervous about the wedding itself. No, I was nervous about my speech. If you were there, then you'll likely remember that I mentioned I'm not a public speaker. I meant it. Hardly anything can make me more nervous...but for some reason, until Saturday morning...(not even Friday night!) it wasn't bothering me.

Then I sat there at Jonny's house on the big day...and butterflies were going through my stomach ad nausea. But it subsided as things started moving...like...once I got in the car on my way to the church. It didn't pass entirely...but it got better. It's strange, because it was as we got in the car and started down the road that Aaron said he was feeling more nervous than ever. I guess it hits people at different times. It hit me hardest at dinner...but I'll get to that in a mo'.

We arrive at the church...only to discover Josh doesn't have a hankie for his suit. Ack! I know it sounds like a minor detail...but do you know the kind of trouble I was foreseeing for myself at that moment if I had to tell my new bride that all the wedding photos were going to have one mismatched usher because we lost a hankie? Anyway, not to worry...Andy arrived and the AWOL hankie had been stuck in Aaron's suit bag. Problem solved, crisis averted.

After everyone is introduced...it's maybe...maybe 12:00. So that means we had a good hour to sit/stand and wait. Butterflies crept back in, but so long as I kept myself busy I forgot about it. Thank God for Barbara taking photos!

Eventually Helen shows up (after quite a hectic morning herself!) and things get under way. You know the rest..."I will" and "I will" followed by a smooch and something 'bout "husband and wife".

Then...more...pictures...lots...more...pictures...my face still hurts from smiling!

We finally take off to the reception...and the champagne went down quick and easy. Hehehe. I needed it by then! We stand around and talk to people a bit longer...have some Winter Pimms (just in case any of you were wondering what the welcoming drinks were...and yes it was alcoholic) and took a few more photos. Then to the receiving line and...dinner.


Butterflies must have been mating like rabbits in my tummy because I could hardly eat. I ate my soup...and some of my veggies...maybe a bite or two of chicken...that's it. I thought I'd be sick! Not because of the food...you all know it was good...but because of the speech which I knew was coming right after dinner!

For those that couldn't make it, the menu consisted of:

*Fresh Tomato Soup blended with Garden Basil
*Traditional Oven Roasted Chicken: Served with a Smoked Bacon & Mushroom Sauce

~or~

*Vegetable Stir Fry: A Selection of Fresh Oriental Vegetables stir fried and served on a Bed of Rice

*Warm Bramley Apple & Blackberry Crumble served with Cappuccino Ice Cream or Hot Custard

*Coffee or Tea and Mints

(And of course, all the wine you like)

Oh...I did manage a few bites of the crumble...but not much. Helen said I was white as a sheet and thought I was going to be sick when I went to the bathroom. Nope...just went to the bathroom. Met Carey & Aaron in there! Hey guys!

Anyhoo...then it was speech time. Thank goodness John went first. (By tradition) I don't think I could have handled going first. John's speech was fantastic, and it really (along with all the alcohol) warmed the crowd. Yet...I was so nervous I didn't think I'd be able to stand. But stand I did...and once I actually got the words flowing out of my mouth, it came pretty easy.

Once I sat down...I felt like a million dollars. The nervous stomach had gone...but it still took my appetite with it!

After dinner we opened the room up for Disco Chris (who rocked, by the way) and dancing. Yes...I know...I can't dance and have no rhythm. But I tried...for Helen's sake. What can I say? The girl lives to dance! If you saw her on the dance floor, you know what I'm talkin' about. Even in that (gorgeous!) wedding dress she was workin' it out. She's in her element when the cheesy pop music comes on. Though...after 14-odd years of dance, I suppose she ought to be!

In short...I had an absolutely amazing time at my wedding. I don't remember all of it, but it's nothing to do with alcohol, I promise. After dinner was finished, I didn't touch a drop! So I had a glass of champagne on the way to the reception...a glass of Pimms upon arrival...and a glass of wine at dinner.

So...I've not heard from most of you - what do you remember most about the wedding? What were the highlights? What didn't you like? Any favourite pictures?

Give me feedback!

~Jer

Notes from England - In the immortal words of Dire Straits

"Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug." As you all know by now, on Wednesday of this past week I had to trek my little American ar$e off to Oslo, Norway, in yet an another attempt to get my fiance visa activated. (for the saga, see previous posts) The fantastic news, for those of you who've been following, is that the silly thing has once and for all been activated...at long last. And none to soon! As of today, it's a mere two weeks to the wedding! That's only 14 days, folks.

Helen and I are now completely 'legal'. My visas are sorted, we've got the wedding licence from the bishop (actually Rev. Michael has it) and all that remains is to finish a few miscellaneous bits like table names (a never-ending project) and pay off bits. Um...the cars are paid; the cake is paid; the honeymoon(!!) is paid; the reception is paid; the suits are paid; the dresses are paid; The Dress is paid; the wedding favours are paid; the gifts for the wedding party, sans the best man, are purchased...

I think all that remains is to pay for the church and to find a gift for the best man. I think. But if you've ever gone through something like this than you can likely tell me that things will continue to pop up. Hmmm...did we pay off Disco Chris? Can't remember. I don't know how Helen keeps it straight in her head. She's amazing.

Anyhoo, for all the good news in the world, there's always a handful of cr@p that will get tossed in the centre of it all. The bad news this time 'round? Poor Aaron won't be able to arrive today as expected. As some of you know, my best man was supposed to be here today for the last two weeks leading up to the wedding. This was not in any sort of 'assistance-lending' capacity...at least not officially. Oh sure, there would be plenty of wedding-related bits to keep he and I busy for 14 days, but mostly, it was a nice way for Aaron to get away from it all and have a bit of a rest after trudging it out at college over the last semester...and to really have a great opportunity to see local England - the areas that I live.

Unfortunately, circumstances have it that Aaron won't be able to make it until the 17th or 18th. I'm actually not sure. Aaron...you said you were coming on the 17th with everyone else...but they're coming on the 18th. So are you flying on the 17th, landing on the 18th like them, or am I picking you up at the airport on the morning of the 17th. It's a minor detail, I know. But that itinerary would be awesome. Haha.

I'm trying desperately to get out of the habit of typing "LOL" because...let's face it...you typically mean 'ha ha', and not literally "I'm laughing out loud right now". It's easier to catch in a blog post than it is in chat...so if you find yourself chatting to me on MSN or AOL, and I LOL at you...poke your finger in my eye next time you see me. (Not really...that would hurt)

Another is "ROFL"...(rolling on floor laughing) and I'll share an amusing anecdote with y'all...'cause it's amusing...and an anecdote...and...welll just read on. I was listening to a podcast some months ago...was it TWiT? May have been. Might have been Penny Arcade. Anyhoo, they mentioned the trouble with LOL and the like, and one guy said the one time he thought a guy could get away with it was something funny was said, and then instead of typing "ROFL", one of the chat participants waited a few moments and then typed "Sorry it took me awhile to respond...I was on the floor."

Now that's funny. Okay...if you have a sense of humor like me then that's funny. Moving on.

That's all for now kids. Does anyone have any questions or comments before the bell rings? If so, leave a comment below. We loves comments we does.

Edit: - More good news! I just received the tickets for Mr. & Mrs. B (that's Helen & me) for our honeymoon at Sandals in St. Lucia from Virgin. w00t! (I'm allowed to use that web colloquialism...it's fun and meaningless)